Words on Relationships.

At first, I didn't want to mention anything about this topic (because this topic has been shown on the Internet constantly), but it has been about 10 years since I made an in-depth commentary on the topic on relationships and the gender war scam harming both men and women worldwide. Something in my subconscious mind inspired me to write on this subject. I dedicate these words to my black ancestors, my friends, and my community including all freedom loving people of the world (who are of every color and background). I want to make this information as a way to reflect my views on this issue in 2023. The gender war situation is a lie that believes that humans of the opposite sex are eternal enemies that must be scapegoated, scorned, dehumanized, and rejected as equal human beings (perpetual conflict is promoted instead of rational solutions in unifying the human family in love, community, and togetherness). I still have the same views back then of rejecting gender war misinformation and propaganda. Over 10 years ago, I refuted sexists on the Internet on relationship topics, and I will continue to do so. When did this nonsense start? Thousands of years ago, human beings existed in the world fighting for survival. Civilizations grew rapidly in the four corners of the Earth. By the time of the Holocene epoch (or the start of our modern era of world history), the Ice Age ended, and the rising sea temperature grew. When civilizations grew in the Africa, Asia, Europe, the Americas, and Australia (like ancient Egypt, ancient Sumeria, ancient China, ancient Olmec culture, ancient Nubia, ancient Greece, etc.). There were similarities in these cultures from temples, language, and societal roles, because we humans have the same origin. Back in the ancient times, there were righteous people who treated men and women as equals, but even back then there was massive oppression against men and women. The minimization of the power and importance of women always causes harm to civilization because no one is free until all people are free to achieve their destinies as human beings. That is why I believe that women collectively suffer more oppression than men collectively because of the dynamics of sexism (and other factors) which has existed throughout human history. In modern times, we have an epidemic of rape in America, Europe, India, and worldwide. Statistics back this up. 

For example, according to the CDC, over half of all women and almost 1 in 3 men experienced sexual violence involving physical contact during their lifetimes. One in 4 women and about 1 in 26 men according to the CDC have experienced rape or attempted rape in America. 1 in 3 women and about 1 in 9 men experienced sexual harassment in a public place. These are the just the cases being reported, so the statistics are much higher among women and men. This doesn't mean that men don't experience rape, but statistics document how women suffer more rape than men. No man and no woman should be raped, abused, or oppressed period. Laws made to prevent equality among the sexes existed long before America was a nation. In ancient Rome, women couldn't vote or hold political office. During the Medieval times in Europe, many women were unfairly treated as a vassal. There was many equal status given to women in many pre-agricultural societies. In U.S. law, American women were not legally defined as "persons" until 1875 (in Minor v. Happersett, 88 U.S. 162). This reality doesn't mean that men suffered nothing, but it does mean that history proves that misogyny and patriarchal capitalist supremacist systems have harmed societies for centuries and thousands of years. Nothing is new under the sun. 

Social movements for human equality stood up for centuries and thousands of years. Rational people agree with women having the right to vote, but that never existed in America until the 20th century. Rational people agree with women owning homes and having jobs with equal pay, but tons of women didn't have those opportunities as late as the early to mid 20th century, especially black women. Some women don't have true equal pay now in 2023. Feminism got incels, manosphere types, and other sexists so angry that that word is like the most offensive word to them. They believe in the lie that feminism itself is responsible to all problems men deal with and all things under the sun. The truth is that feminism is very diverse, and the concept of feminism just means equality among all sexes and backgrounds. The common lie promoted by manosphere types is that since white racist feminists and suffragettes exist in the world (or agents like former CIA agent Gloria Steinem and even Susan Brownmiller lied about Emmett Till as a potential rapist), so feminism falls apart as a social ideology. The truth is that white racist suffragettes have abhorrent views and should not be respected, but many women supported the right to vote and equality from Ida B. Wells (who exposed white racist suffragettes) to Fannie Lou Hamer. Feminism doesn't mean hatred of men, but it does acknowledge male privilege and the role of some men (not every man) in the oppression of women. I think nuisance is omitted by the sexist crowd. Later, by the end of the 20th century and the 21st century, sexism has been promoted by corporations, shock jocks, YouTube personalities, and other controversial people. Tom Leykis is one of the old school sexists who used his radio platform to promote sexism and stereotypes about women. Red pill advocates, MGTOW advocates (which is a hate group that seeks to end relationships among men and women. MGTOW stands for Men Going Their Own Way), and others in that crew have differences, but they are similar in having hostility towards women, embracing negative stereotypes of women (which has lied that women don't know STEM, every woman is selfish, every woman hates a righteous man, etc.), and seeks men to be Machiavellian in having advancement. 

The reality is that men and women should be themselves and have a sense of power and altruism in making the world better by their own merit. The MGOTW movement is wrong, because they embrace the most negative views about women without realizing the diverse personalities of women. Also, there is no benefit in permanent isolation as the improve of humanity can come by connection, development, and a sense of purpose in helping people. Women aren't machines in a slot machine that you can push a button to make wishes come true. Women are human beings with intellects, feelings, and value that ought to be respected. These characteristics define men too. Many women haters and misogynists are popular among a certain segment of the world's population like Andrew Tate and even the late Kevin Samuels advocated domestic discipline against women (which is domestic violence. Kevin Samuels also disrespected women's physical appearances and implied that black women are less attractive which is a lie. Black women are the most beautiful women on Earth in my view). Recently Andrew Tate has been accused of sex trafficking in Europe. The pickup artist propaganda (in advancing nefarious principles) is known to ruin many relationships. There are many red flags for sexists who lecture women on how to be women (when women are perfectly qualified on speaking about womanhood by themelves by birth), on talking about high and low value people (when all people are created equal) and promote colorism (when beauty is diverse found in all hues, especially in black people. Eurocentric beauty standards is antithetical to truth). Many sexists are promoted by YouTube and corporate power from DJ Akademiks (who disrespected SZA and claims to be the "prize." He is a Trump supporter too who sometimes gets drunk and curses anyone out who disagrees with him), Charleston White, etc. 

As for black people, black women and black men aren't responsible for the Maafa, the War on Drugs, and other evils in our communities. In recent decades, many sexists promote the lie that black single mothers are responsible for family dysfunction and all problems in the black community in general. That is false as black single mothers are victims of a white racist system that harms both black men and black women in similar plus different ways. Misogyny harms men too. In fact, misogyny (which spreads by capitalist exploitation) causes the crisis of many men, because some men believe in the myth that they must be brutes, aggressive in a toxic way, and intolerable to be a "real man." Many in the manosphere are right that there is a crisis among men, but they are wrong on the origin and solution of this problem. Authors like Scott Galloway, Annie Lowrey, and Christine Emba wrote on this crisis in men in articles and books. These men and women are scholars and experts who have done their research. For example, boys start school less prepared than girls and less likely to graduate from high school and attend or graduate from college. 

One in seven men reports having no friends. Three of every four deaths of despair in America are men dying from suicides and drug overdoses. Boys have fewer male role models. The prison industrial complex has harmed men, including black men, for decades in America alone. The prison system is filled with rape, abuse, exploitation, corruption, and psychological trauma inflicted on human life. Toxic masculinity is not true masculinity. True masculinity is about developing power, integrity, and positive influences to help, protect, and advocate for human beings not oppressing anyone. The crisis among men caused many men to have trouble expressing communication cogently with people, and many men fall prey to incels, xenophobes, and other extremists like Andrew Tate, Anton Daniels, Tariq Nasheed, Charleston White, etc. This crisis is not caused by women but by a cutthroat system that focuses on dehumanization instead of respect for all human life. What is the solution to end this crisis? There must be investments in apprenticeships and trade schools for men and women, there must be investments in more male positive role models to help boys, there must be a progressive promotion of mental health programs for men and boys, economic progressive policies must exist, and there must be education in social conduct among boys and men (in forming relationships, cultural groups, religious groups, and meeting people in general). There are many scholars who want human being to reduce stress, get adequate sleep, use table manner, improve hygiene, improve grammar or vocabulary, improve health, be honest, take reasonable risks, accept accountability, promote respect, and treat people right. These people are right. 

I don't agree with Olivia Alexa on every issue (I disagree with her in saying most women will never respect men, and she saying that the majority of women not knowing what a good man is), but she is right on saying these following jewels: attraction is not a negotiation (i.e. if a woman if not interested in you as a man, don't waste your time and keep it moving to date women who are attracted to you), men should carve their own path to be the men that they want to be (by improving your personality, economics, health and character), sex by itself is not enough to keep someone, men should keep their honor intact, and having success of men dating women has no shortcuts (it takes work). Olivia Alexa is right that people should show your worth by communication in an effective way by using action and words. The truth is that a woman can't love a man she doesn't respect. So, a woman or a man who dates someone who respects him or her. I do believe that Olivia Alexa sincerely wants to help men in the dating situation by her vibe, her insights, and her energy. The beauty of the situation is that we don't have to agree with everyone to appreciate legitimate insights on relationships shown by a human being like Olivia Alexia. She is also right to mention that, "A woman can always tell if a man loves her by how much time he is willing to invest. Money spent is meaningless, but time spent is priceless." In other words, the money will come, but what lasts for a lifetime is time spent to your lover. 

Education about intellectual growth, health development, and emotional strength is key in inspiring men and women to reach their highest potentials as human beings. We are human, we are bio-chemical beings, we have a prefrontal cortex filled with intellectual power, and we are born to be social. 

The incel crew falsely blame women or feminism for relationship problems and their solutions are further entrenchment of misogyny. We know about divorce and how many men, and many women struggle after divorce financially or emotionally. We all agree that tons of divorce settlements aren't 50-50. The incel/manosphere/red pill crew exploit the existence of divorce to say that any woman would benefit from a divorce by virtue of the court system being biased on gender. That is not the case. The truth is that men and women have diverse experiences from divorce. Some men suffer a bad deal from a divorce, and some women suffer a bad deal from a divorce. Many studies like the study from Thomas Leopold entitled, "Gender Differences in the Consequences of Divorce: A Study of Multiple Outcomes" back in 2018 from the Demography magazine found that findings suggest that, "...men's disproportionate strain of divorce is transient, whereas women's is chronic." According to the U.S. Government Accountability Office to the Senate, "Women's household income fell by an average of 41 percent with divorce, almost twice the size of the decline that men experienced." The U.S. Census mentioned that 20 percent of women all into poverty after a divorce compared ot 11 percent of men. About 25 percent lose their health insurance temporarily. Some incels have gone beyond spewing hateful words to do rape, assault, and murder against women for decades now. That is why people who are liberals, conservatives, etc. agree that the corporate divorce industry is not working, and an alternative is necessary (like before marriage, a contract of responsibilities is established so the couple can have equitable rights and benefits from raising children to financial growth). Another problem with the Red pill/manosphere movement is that it has a hostility toward marriage, towards a man loving a woman (a man loving a woman is not a simp), and relations between humans in general. The truth is that studies show that healthy marriages have financial, health, and emotional benefits for men and women. Therefore, marriage is a blessing in the eyes of God, and there is nothing wrong for people being married for the right reasons. 

The truth is that we have a crisis among men and women in an evolving world. Women suffer oppression too from rape, pay inequality, lax maternity leave for mothers, sexual harassment, and degradation in media and other forms of entertainment. With automation and deindustrialization, many people lost their jobs or went into new jobs in a changing capitalistic economy. After World War II, veterans came back to America from Europe, Africa, and America. Families grown and the suburbs grew, but racial oppression and sexual exploitation existed. The Bible of the manosphere and sexists is the Moynihan Report of 1965. I prefer the Kerner Commission report of 1967 than the Moynihan Report (which promoted the lie that single black women and black culture from the legacy of slavery, not the system of racism and economic oppression are responsible for many of the social problems in black families. Many scholars have debunked the report for years and decades). Dnaiel Patrick Moynihan is wrong, because racial inequality is not caused by a specific family structure (as both nuclear and single families can raise amazing children into great men and women) but in the political economy and institutional racism. African American activists like Pauli Murray criticized the report as promoting increasing economic opportunities for black men at the expense of getting rid of jobs to black women. The truth is that black men and black women deserve jobs and economic opportunities. The Moynihan Report made the misogynoir myth that tons of black women have it made in 1965 when that isn't the case at all. Merrillee A. Dolan and other scholars have refuted the report too. The policies of the War on Drugs, redlining, discrimination, welfare reform, and other actions harmed black communities for decades and centuries not black women collectively or black men collectively. Men and women aren't monolithic. There are evil men and evil women from Candace Owens to Jesse Lee Peterson. Yet, evil people existing doesn't mean that men and women can never change. You have to give people the chance to change and be better human beings despite the past. According to black feminist scholar and activist Frances Beal in her work Double Jeopardy in 1969, this shows the dynamics of oppression against black men and black women: 

"...Certain black men are maintaining that they have been castrated by society but that black women somehow escaped this persecution and even contributed to this emasculation. Let me state here and now that the black woman in America can justly be described as a "slave of a slave." By reducing the black man in America to such abject oppression, the black woman had no protector and was used, and is still being used in some cases, as the scapegoat for the evils that this horrendous system has perpetrated on black men. Her physical image has been maliciously maligned; she has been sexually molested and abused by the white colonizer; she has suffered the worst kind of economic exploitation, having been forced to serve as the white woman's maid and wet nurse for white offspring while her own children were more often than not, starving and neglected. It is the depth of degradation to be socially manipulated, physically raped, used to undermine your own household, and to be powerless to reverse this syndrome.

It is true that our husbands, fathers, brothers and sons have been emasculated, lynched and brutalized. They have suffered from the cruellest assault on mankind that the world has ever known. However, it is a gross distortion of fact to state that black women have oppressed black men. The capitalist system found it expedient to enslave and oppress them and proceeded to do so without signing any agreements with black women.

It must also be pointed out at this time, that black women are not resentful of the rise to power of black men. We welcome it. We see in it the eventual liberation of all black people from this corrupt system under which we suffer. Nevertheless, this does not mean that you have to negate one for the other. This kind of thinking is a product of miseducation; that it's either X or it's Y. It is fallacious reasoning that in order the black man to be strong, the black woman has to be weak.

Those who are exerting their "manhood" by telling black women to step back into a domestic, submissive role are assuming a counter-revolutionary position. Black women likewise have been abused by the system and we must begin talking about the elimination of all kinds of oppression. If we are talking about building a strong nation, capable of throwing off the yoke of capitalist oppression, then we are talking about the total involvement of every man, woman, and child, each with a highly developed political consciousness. We need our whole army out there dealing with the enemy and not half an army...."

The common argument by sexists is that since unmarried birth rates increasing because single mothers are to blame. Sexists believe in the old lie by any single mother by definition will promote dysfunction in society. The truth is that according to Ta-Nehisi Coates's article, "Understanding Out of Wedlock Births in Black America," there is a high number of children born by unmarried mothers, the birthrate for black women has declined, and married women of every color are going down by percentage (since 1970). So, the trend is that less people are getting married (among every color in America) because of conscious choices not because of a conspiracy of single mothers to ruin the black community. If we want more marriage rates in America, then we have to change the policies that invest in growing marriages not using force to make people get married if they don't want to. Likewise, children need parents. Mothers and fathers are important, so mothers and fathers should always be given just tools in raising their children. The large corporations causing wealth inequality and gentrification didn't originate from black single mothers or feminists but the corporate 1 percent. When you see a person blaming black men or black women collectively for every problem in the black community, that person is an agent like Tommy Sotomayor (who sexualized the death of black people and made outrageous sexist comments for over 10 years now) and Cynthia G (who called Fantasia ugly and said 90 percent of all black men are trash, and Cynthia G has a hatred of those who believe in God. For the record, Fantasia is a very beautiful black woman). There are those who claim to defend men but use anti-women rhetoric to justify their views. You don't have to defend the dignity of men to bash women. Bashing women is anti-men, and bashing men is anti-women, because we all are human beings coming from the same origin as people. Promoting self-accountability, giving advice, and promoting growth aren't bashing, but dehumanization, false generalizations, hatred, and outright lies are examples of bashing. Crimson cure is a woman who bashes women (She is disappointing as she knows full well of tons of black women about the life of building, caring, and honoring black liberation). Justpearlythings is another white racist woman who bashes women too via redpill propaganda.  The elite-engineered gender war nonsense is headed not only by white racist men, but white racist women too. Racist white women try to tickle the ears of sellout black people in order to be part of the program of self-hatred, nihilism, and in the end the destruction of their souls. Therefore, we have to know who the enemy is (which is the racist & corporate, international power structure), we can't underestimate evil people, and we will promote the truth of Black Love. What does a divestor mean? Divestors are different from most people involved in an interracial relationship or non-interracial relationships because they have love for a human being. Divestors are people who date and marry the opposite sex of another race, because they believe in the myth that a black person of the opposite sex collectively is inferior intellectually or socially to non-black people. To many divestors and many manosphere types, white folks (and non-black people in general) are infallible culturally and socially which is blatantly part of self-hatred. 

They have a hostility to not only Black Love but the black community in general. Divestors, MGTOW, and passport bros (who are wrong to stereotype American black women as collectively inconsiderate, aggressive, not progressive enough to date a gentleman, and disrespectful so they date women overseas with a passport) have differences, but they are similar in having stereotypes about black Americans of the opposite sex, having no concern of promoting black liberation (they don't talk about the need to help black women with maternity disparities, and they don't talk about the need to deal with many black men and mental health issues), and some don't care if the black community becomes extinct. Divestors and Manosphere agents don't talk about black women heroes, black men heroes, or making solutions to uplift the black community by legitimate means. This is extreme madness, but we don't have to follow the path of extinction. We want black people to grow and flourish in future generations and part of that is by building up black families including the growth of the black population in general. 

Now, we know the problems and what are the solutions? The solution is multifaceted. First, it's our responsibility as adults to do the right thing and to teach boys and girls the basics about responsibility, accountability, ethics, autonomy, consent, integrity, and positive social conduct that helps communities. We have to teach them when they are young that human autonomy and consent will always be important to live by and promote. Second, a holistic culture must be advanced where men and women have the right to pursue their dreams without oppression, without discrimination, and without bigotry or racism of any kind. It is important to note that it is not your responsibility to involuntarily redeem the soul of a struggling person. It is that person's responsibility to heal and be a better person for themselves. You can give people advice, encouragement, stand with that person when they ask for help, and give that person resources voluntarily, but ultimately, that person has to make that conscious decision to heal and improve their own lives. In the final analysis empathy and coddling aren't identical. We have to advocate for laws and policies to eliminate structures of oppression and discrimination. The more evil systems are gone, the more all humans benefit, regardless of sex. Mentorships and programs of uplift must be available for boys, girls, men, and women to cater to their needs and aspirations. Historically, many role models have saved the lives of men and women for centuries and thousands of years. Role models matter. Also, more men have to be allies to women and other oppressed groups not only by words but by deeds. Those deeds are about mentoring a young woman in a job or a young black person (or young person of any background), standing up against sexist speech in public and in private (whether in Internet forums or in the street), showing respect to any human being, and investing time to cultivate a culture of tolerance, excellence, and human dignity. We want any human being to be free and express their talents to the world safely. 

Consent matters. No one is entitled to a relationship. No one is entitled to sex. People have the right to be attracted and date who they want. No one is entitled to any human's body. We are entitled to liberty, justice, equality, and the pursuit of happiness. That principle and the Golden Rule must always be lived on a daily basis. Building better relationships does require self-reflection, learning how to undue pass trauma (even going to therapy if necessary), and building yourself up emotionally. One major solution in ending gender war nonsense is honest communication among men and women about our issues, aspirations, and dreams without personal attacks. Honest dialogue forming common ground will go a long way than WWE fake ad hominem attack nonsense. We need to further invest in programs helping girls and women to pursue STEM Fields, other jobs, and other methods for them to reach their goals in life. Improving oneself should be about you doing it, not to fulfill some fantasy of revenge or egoism. Being better (emotionally, health-wise, intellectually, financially, socially, and spiritually) makes you feel better in every aspect of human living. It is important to note that numerous evil people exploit the legitimate issue of love and relationships to dehumanize or disrespect people who are of different physical appearances. We don't do that for we believe that beauty is diverse, not monolithic. We all oppose colorism, lookism, and featurism period. We don't believe in disrespecting and dehumanizing anyone of a different physical appearance, color, sex, or background. All people are born equal and are entitled to respect, dignity, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Relationships should be about mutual respect and mutual love not a case of letting negative baggage toxify a relationship. Relationships reflect commonality and dating people with similar interests and personalities can work. It's cliche but being yourself matters. Most people will respect you more if you're authentically you than if you fake an image to the world. Life is never easy, but life is not impossible to live a better life than the past. Treating people with dignity and respects shines a great light from Almighty God on you. 

AT THE END OF THE DAY, GREAT ADIVCE FOR MEN AND WOMEN IS TO:

BE YOU

DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR BEING YOU

NEVER GIVE UP AND SHINE YOUR LIGHT

WE LIVE IN ONE LIFE AND BEING TRUE TO YOU (ALONG WITH TREATING PEOPLE RIGHT) IS A BLESSING.

By Timothy